Liberal vs Conservative Ideas About Sex
This may seem like an unusual topic, but it is one worth discussing and analyzing in relation to Stoicism. Opinions about sex are not set in stone within Stoic circles, as certain philosophers are more conservative than others. For example, when it came to sexual intercourse, Seneca was more conservative than Zeno, Chrysippus and Cleanthes (the three founders of Stoicism), who had somewhat libertine sexual morals.
It may surprise some, but Stoics did not uniformly agree on all issues and aspects of life, as is evident in their differing notions of sex. Since the beginning of history, humanity’s perception of sex has remained relatively the same, in that there has always been two categories of people with two conflicting beliefs. On one side, there are those with a more open and liberal attitude towards sex, and on the other side, there are those who hold a more reserved and conservative stance on sex. Sometimes, the former is dominant in a society and sometimes it is the latter. The influence of each side depends on a variety of issues:
- The arguments put forth by the advocates of each position.
- External circumstances, such as religious beliefs and cultural norms.
- The status of the advocates within their society and/or community.
Seneca was one historical figure whose attitude toward sex was more reserved in nature. The reasoning behind Seneca’s conservative views corresponded to his opinion on the treatment of slaves. For Seneca, slaves were not objects to be physically abused; instead, they were rational beings who were capable of exercising free will. He believed we should never use our power to dominate another human being, in any capacity, and he stood against all forms of exploitation. In other words, Seneca believed sex could be used by the powerful as a form of exploitation over the weak. As a result, Seneca held conservative views on all forms of sex.
In comparison, Sextus Empiricus held passionate views on sex. For example, he once passionately uttered: “Stoics claim it is not foul to have sex with a courtesan”. This is in stark contrast to Seneca’s views on the matter. For Seneca, sex was an expoitive practice that made people particularly susceptible to passional corruption.
To put it in more modern parlance, Seneca would be described as square, while Sextus Empiricus would be considered progressive. Neither view is right and neither view is wrong; they are what they are – merely the opinions of two philosophers of high intellectual caliber.
Stoic Views on Sex
According to Stoicism, the best form of erotic behavior is that which integrates the sexual side of the relationship with companionship, moral character and friendship. In other words, Stoics believe that true intercourse is carried out with a person whom you respect and love. Stoics were great believers in friendship and companionship, and believed that all actions are better when done in a community form. The same viewpoint also applied to sex. However in this case, the community is limited to two people: a man and woman who have a deep love, respect and emotional bond for one another.
However, despite their support for sex in relation to friendship and community, Stoics also viewed sex with certain degrees of suspicion. For example, classic Stoic teachings often frowned upon any one person having too much sexual desire. But why did Stoics harbor such suspicion towards sex? Well for Stoics, a desire to engage in sex could lead to a life of disturbance, vice and a loss of internal freedom. The main reason for this is because we would be placing much of our happiness in the hands of someone else, which directly conflicts with their strong belief in self-actualization. Moreover, certain Stoics believed that too much sexual desire could lead to a decline in civilized human values, as the pursuit of hedonic pleasure could lead to a rise in cultural debauchery.
In Stoic teachings, sexual desire is not to be pursued with vigor, but instead with caution. They believed that sex should be based on love and respect, not fueled by wild, instinctive behavior. The general Stoic view on sex fits with their beliefs on the importance of living a life based on the exercise of reason, hence why they concluded that sex should be pursued with reason. Thus, the fulfillment of sexual reasoning takes hold when a person has found true love and companionship.
In ancient times, especially during the days of Imperial Rome, sexual debauchery thrived, specifically among the upper classes. Perhaps the Stoics were afraid of a double-edged sword: a decline in human reason and a rise in hedonic behaviors among humans. That fear might have encouraged certain Stoics, such as Seneca, to push for a return to a more conservative and moderate sexual lifestyle.
Stoics like Seneca advocated for a new and more conservative lifestyle, where sexual debauchery did not dominate culture and society. Seneca, along with Stoics who harbored similar concerns about what they perceived to be the decline of cultured society, desired to change people’s attitudes and to encourage a more reserved approach toward sex.
With that in mind, we conclude with the words of the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, who once stated:
“When it comes to matters of sexuality [aphrodisia], keep yourself pure as much as you can before marriage. If you do indulge, then do so only in those pleasures that are lawful. But don’t be offensive or critical with those who do use [those sexual pleasures]. Nor make frequent mention of the fact that you yourself don’t use them”.
Epictetus
In other words, exercise temperance and be conservative in your sexual pursuits, but never judge those who do not follow the same path. Let people be as they freely choose to be.
