In this article, we will explore some useful advice on how to remain calm. Stoics saw calmness as a way of life, and their teachings can be of great value in this subject.
Staying calm is, in most situations, better than letting your emotions run wild and rampant. We are responsible for our daily decisions, big life choices and actions overall. Our moral judgement can be clouded by the storms of emotions, resulting in regrets.
Equanimity is one of the most valued stoic attitudes towards world events because the calmness of mind depends on our own will and effort. This is the state where one is able to observe things clearly and objectively.
On the other hand, being angry or upset clouds our judgement, and consequently the mind loses control to our emotions. Stoics strive to be calm and focused, always ready to tackle situations with an objective eye.
Be like the rocky headland on which the waves constantly break. It stands firm, and round it the seething waters are laid to rest.
Marcus Aurelius
Understanding stoic teachings on calmness, can help us apply them in our lives. In this article, we will focus on the four most effective tips.
- Acknowledge what you can and can’t control
We often stress about external things like money, politics, other people’s opinions, the weather, sickness, the future or the past and other unwelcoming thoughts. The point is we become upset not because of certain events, but because of our thoughts about them.
The first crucial stoic lesson on how to stay calm with a clear mind is to learn that our thoughts are the only thing that we can control. However, to control a thought, we must think about it as objectively as possible. That means it must be cleansed of our emotional reactions to it.
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
Epictetus
Some things can be controlled and others can’t. This is the famous stoic teaching of the dichotomy of control. If you let emotions cloud your judgement, the whole world will be perceived differently, but an objective reasonable view is the true reflection of our nature.
Our reactions, therefore, if we aren’t mindful, can easily become the masters of our lives, leading us to uncertainty while coloring our worldviews in certain modes:
Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.
Epictetus
This is why reaching apatheia (Greek: ἀπάθεια; “without passion”), an objective view without the influence of passions, is emphasized as the main goal of every life. It frees you so you can become master of your own life.
- Universal view from above makes any problem look small
Remaining calm (or reaching apatheia) can be achieved from the famous stoic practice: “The view from above”. This practice can detach us from all external things at once. Observe your being and position from a broader, universal perspective.
From this objective view, you will see how your fears, struggles, wishes and anxiety are slowly becoming insignificant. Such reflection can help you to release yourself from external weights and burdens of everyday life. You can find peace and, accordingly, acquire a different perspective in dealing with your current problems.
Every part of me then will be reduced by change into some part of the universe, and that again will change into another part of the universe, and so on forever.
Marcus Aurelius
In other words, you will become faced with your own finality and accordingly your own problems and troublesome thoughts will seem insignificant in the eternal and infinite life cycle.
- Don’t fear change for it’s only natural
Our state of calm often depends on external situations. For example, if one is living a peaceful conformist life, then every change (even a smaller one) can shatter its peace. Don’t allow changes to upset you because life itself is a change.
Is any man afraid of change? What can take place without change? What then is more pleasing or more suitable to the universal nature? And can you take a hot bath unless the wood for the fire undergoes a change? And can you be nourished unless the food undergoes a change? And can anything else that is useful be accomplished without change? Do you not see then that for yourself also to change is just the same, and equally necessary for the universal nature?
Marcus Aurelius
Life is a constant change, and our peace shouldn’t be based on it. We should be able to embrace it and to accept it as it is. This way, our peace will not be taken from us because our minds will not only be able to objectively accept it, but we’ll also always be prepared because we have fully integrated the concept of an ever-changing reality. Come what may.
- Take small but consistent steps
There are no easy steps in philosophy. The rules we mentioned above are not instant guidelines or steps on how to acquire calmness or remain calm. Go slowly and be mindful of each step you take towards it. Those steps should become a way of life, practiced often, every day. Afterall, a short-term effort or instant success is no success at all.
Well-being is attained little by little, and nevertheless is no little thing itself.
Zeno of Citium
Every hour, day, month and year counts. You will become unaware of change if you practice it more often. Patience is the key in this practice since every beginning is hard. However, we can be sure that the effort you put in will be reflected in the attainment of a peaceful life.
