In this article, we will discuss suffering, its roots and how to deal with it. Stoic philosophy can help us to dismantle this phenomenon.
Suffering is a part of life, and many often find it on the path created to avoid it. In stoic philosophy, suffering is considered to be a part of the lives of those who are unable to handle emotions. Therefore, suffering is preventable because according to stoics, it depends on us alone.
Here, we would like to find out, is there any meaning to suffering, and can it help us to find out something new about ourselves? All Stoics agreed on one policy towards strong emotions such as suffering – it should be avoided.
In order to reach contentment or ataraxia (from Greek: ἀταραξία; meaning “equanimity” “tranquility”), which is actually the freedom of distress and strong emotions, one must reach into the nature of strong turbulent and negative emotions. So, what can we learn about suffering?
No pain please!
The general source of suffering lies in our struggle to control more than we can. We suffer because we think we can or should do something about those situations, when in fact we can’t .
Is a world without pain possible? Then don’t ask the impossible.
Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius is well aware of the nature of suffering, and he sees it as a part of everyday life. Our own reactions to events, people and objects are responsible for our suffering. In other words, you are to blame for your own condition.
This may sound harsh, but according to stoics it is true. We are all in control only when it comes to our own minds, and nobody can make us escape suffering but ourselves.
The generality of suffering and its presence in the mind, can teach us to locate the spot where suffering occurs. It is occurring in a character which can’t sustain the negativity around itself. This kind of mind is constantly blaming outside events and objects.
Ask: What is so unbearable about this situation? Why can’t you endure it? You will be embarrassed to answer.
Marcus Aurelius
Imagination killed the mind
We are often prone to anticipate events that will probably never happen. This is the place where suffering from things which don’t exist occurs. Imagining what can happen to us or to our loved ones is paralyzing.
On the other hand, if we imagine something good happening, we often suffer because it didn’t go out as we planned. We are overwhelmed with guilt or despair which, therefore discourages us to move on.
There are more things to alarm us than to harm us, and we suffer more often in apprehension than reality.
Seneca
Imaging a bad outcome (because we are thinking of past experience), we become anxious – never making the first move. Fear paralyses and it steals the present moment from us, whose purpose is to be used for action.
A man who suffers or stresses before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary.
Seneca
From this lesson, we can learn that suffering can steal time from us. Paralysis makes the mind inert. Such a mental condition is very fragile and can ruin lives, because the mind is, following the stoics, an active force, not a passive toy of rampant emotions.
It is of vital importance to embrace the moment to activate our mind. Our strength lies in action, and even a small progress is better than no progress at all. Make short-term plans and try your best not to think about distant and often unlikely scenarios.
Mirror, mirror on the wall…
Did you ever think about how you treat yourself? We often treat others differently; however, when it comes to ourselves our attitude changes.
We often shape the image of ourselves with the “help” of others. This is how our self-worth is often measured (especially in our younger stages) – we compare ourselves to others. Our reflections are often not realistic and we are, in such condition, destined to suffer.
It is difficult to escape our judgement, but who are we judging? The distorted image we’ve made?
In this process, we fail to understand ourselves, simply because we have never reached ourselves in the first place.
To crush this distorted image, it is important to know how to approach yourself. Epictetus would advise you to spend more time alone.
Other people’s views and troubles can be contagious. Don’t sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others.
Epictetus
While meditating, we can face ourselves with the opinions of others, in order to reveal our true nature. Examine your thoughts, if you feel stupid or neglected, ask yourself how that came to be. Often, our own image in our heads is made by expectations that are often unrealistic.
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
Epictetus
