It’s such a challenge when we’re asked to choose among things we adore. But it can also serve as a tool that allows us to evaluate what really is important to us. But I really don’t know if in Mid – 2021 I’ll choose the same letters?
Letter 6
I want to start with the letter that summarizes the joy that comes from sharing our modest knowledge of Stoicism. In this letter, Seneca tells his friend Lucilius about the immense pleasure he experiences from sharing what he has learned with the world.
Seneca starts by explaining that as we gather knowledge and apply it into our lives, that knowledge becomes wisdom. And it becomes your best friend.
He sees no point in learning something if he cannot share it, he even says that if knowledge would be offered to him on the condition of retaining it, he would not accept such an offer.
Stoics are very concerned with who they surround themselves with, because they know that behavior is contaminating. In this letter, Seneca describes true friends as the ones that have “identical inclinations”, an “alliance of honorable desires” and thus will have lots of things in common, especially their troubles.
That, in my opinion, is a beautiful definition of friendship. There is no judgement, there is a pact to search for solutions, and also an enormous pleasure to share knowledge. It’s really hard to find this kind of friendship in a competitive world. We must remember that together we can go further.
Letter 43
This is a curious letter about privacy. Seneca explains that it is not our concern for privacy that pushed us to invent doors, it was our need for discretion, our need for not being caught in the act.
He says that the man with a clear conscience has nothing to hide, therefore he doesn’t care about being seen. He also remarks that we shall let people know or see our good deeds. Let’s remember that the Stoics value those who lead by example.
From the letter you understand that his friend doesn’t see himself as a worthy topic of gossip. Seneca explains that “Any point that rises above adjacent points is great, at the spot where it rises. For greatness is not absolute; comparison increases it or lessens it.” That’s the subject of gossip.
We can learn from this text that we shall not refrain from being ourselves because we might be objects of gossip. We might not hide. He clearly states that anyone that shines a lit bit more than the others will be targeted.
There’s a nice fable with this same moral: a serpent was trying to catch a firefly, and the firefly kept running away from the serpent. But the serpent would not give up. When the serpent finally cornered the firefly he stopped her – Hey, I’ve done nothing to you, and I’m not enough to feed you, so why do you want to eat me? To which the serpent replied – Your light upsets me.
Letter 62
In this letter, Seneca talks about a friend of his that seems to be someone who has chosen to live in poverty, Demetrius. He shows Lucilius that the best company we may have are the friends that share our thoughts, and he emphasizes that there shouldn’t be any prejudice on our part in order to enjoy those friendships.
He teaches about the importance of having time for your friends as well as yourself. He questions the ones that are always busy. He sees that as a sign of difficulty in dealing with their own selves.
Such a short letter contains priceless knowledge and I wish to close this piece with one of his phrases: “I am master of myself. For I do not surrender myself to my affairs, but loan myself to them”. In times of time management as a valuable tool, reflect upon these centuries old teaching.
In a world where interest reigns, and finding that true friendship has become a big challenge. I have a personal tip for testing your friends and I’m going to share it, because I learned a lot from it.
Illness, depression, pain calls for compassion from people, so telling someone you are suffering is not a real test in our competitive society, you will certainly get consolation. Try telling people how well you’re doing, how great business has been, how good the kids are in school and observe.
Your real friend is not only the one that shares the same interests, it is the one that can live with your greatness and success.
