In this article we will talk about the difference between control and influence, and why it is important to reflect on this difference in your everyday life.
There are many cases where we confuse control with influence. For example, we think that because we can influence the forces of nature, then we can control them too. We think we can control illness by treating the body with medicine; however, we are only influencing certain inner processes with it. We also think that others can be controlled by politicians or people in power, but these people are only influenced by sweet-talk or bribery. Manipulation is the product of influence, not control.
So, what can we control? It is apparent that many things are capable of being influenced, but is there anything we can take into our own hands and control absolutely? Well, we can only control what we have, and the things mentioned above are not really ours. Yes, our body is ours, but most of our internal functions are done subconsciously, which makes that out of our control.
Stoic philosophers pondered about this question a lot and they did come to one conclusion. Namely, we have the power to say “no” and “yes” to certain things through the power of our thoughts and actions. I can say “no” to cigarettes, or “yes” when my friend asks me to help them. Those are decisions I can control and their birthplace is in my mind. According to Stoics, our minds and wills are the only things in our power.
Control
Stoic philosophy emphasized the principle of dichotomy of control. This principle represents the foundation of wisdom, as every Stoic knows that in order to be happy, one must turn to his or her own mind first and examine it closely. Our mind is the house of our thought and will, which is why it is important to learn to control it. If I practice mindfulness, I can control my impulses and behavior. I can see how meaningless anger is and how it can make me do horrible things. I can choose to take an objective perspective on myself and see what I can do for myself.
Controlling our thoughts means to examine them. To reflect on everything, we need to ponder the right courses of action. However, we need to keep in mind that some things won’t go according to our wishes and desires, and we must face any difficult situations with a firm attitude. To stand firm is in our control, to let go of negative emotions and to choose how to respond to events and objects. We can do this because we know that external things are mostly indifferent and that virtue is the only good.
Therefore, all efforts and actions in our life are only worthy if their purpose is to improve ourselves as persons. All this is in our control – to act, to think, to be happy.
Influence
Now that we understand how to control our minds, we must focus on influence. So, what things can we influence? In Epictetus’ Enchiridion, he explains:
“In our power are opinion, movement toward a thing, desire, aversion (turning from a thing); and in a word, whatever are our own acts: not in our power are the body, property, reputation, offices (magisterial power), and in a word, whatever are not our own acts.”
Epictetus
If something isn’t completely in our control, it doesn’t mean we should give up on it. It only means we should be cautious when we think about it. You can’t control whether you will pass your classes, or if you will get your dream job at some company, or whether you will be approved for a home loan; however, you can prepare yourself and influence things along the way to improve your chances. You can also influence how others, for example a job interviewer, perceive you. You can’t control their thoughts or actions, but you can positively influence their perception of you.
A wise man can see where control ends and influence begins. It isn’t hard to learn this technique, but it is hard to master it. That is why Stoics encourage us to practice self-reflection and conscious thought, so we are better able to think before we act.
Meditating on Influence and Control
The difference between control and influence is very important, as it can teach you how to deal with things within yourself and those things that surround you. Those things that are within, such as your thoughts, actions, behavior and impressions are under your control. By learning to control them, you will positively affect your wellbeing and you will perceive the world in a different light.
“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts”.
Marcus Aurelius
Remember that all external things, which is everything outside your mind, are not in your control. You should take a different approach to things on this path. Here, you can only influence things, so trying to control them is hopeless. However, don’t forget that influence is only as good as your level of control over yourself.
