Epictetus teaches us that calamities, break ups, and death are all natural parts of life. So we shouldn’t fear them, but rather we should face them as often as we can. He stresses on how important it is to understand the finite nature of things, people and situations.
Stoics are encouraged to serve human kind. However, they’re also encouraged to overcome excuses, guilt and resentment, as their causes reside outside the realm that they control. And this is why a Stoic will never agree with someone who is suffering and blaming the universe, fate or others.
Consolation Vs. Contamination
In The Art of Living, Epictetus talks about the dangers of spending time with people and letting them contaminate us with their thoughts and fears. He makes it clear that indulging in negative emotions, sadness, resentment does no good to anyone. He also makes it adamantly clear, that if found in such a situation, one is best to leave the scene.
This is not a case of mere self-preservation, it actually is a case of inner self-preservation. A good laugh can be contagious as much as a yawn. The stoics are only highlighting that negative emotions can also infect us and drag us down. Believe me, you can’t save someone from drowning if you’re unable to swim.
It’s not about turning our backs on the friends who are most in need of us. It’s much more about respecting the other person’s feelings, but realizing that indulging in such behaviour is counterproductive. They’re suffering because of their uneven perception of the events. You can help by trying to share the stoic way of dealing with hardship, but only if you see that grievance is leaving room for growth.
Compassion helps
Stoics may sound like stone cold savages so far, but this isn’t the full truth. They acknowledge the suffering of men, and they’re aware of the fact that friendly support can help heal a broken heart, soul and body.
Seneca speaks a lot about the importance of friends. In his letter 78, he explains how his friends helped him overcome his illness saying:
“Yes, I repeat, it seemed to me that I should continue to live, not with them, but through them”. If that is not pure consolation, I don’t know what can be.
“You are not an isolated entity, but a unique, irreplaceable part of the cosmos. Don´t forget this. You are an essential piece of the puzzle of humanity. Each of us is a vast, intricated and perfectly ordered human community.”
This is how Epictetus proposes our relationship with the world, friends and acquaintances in need should be.
In the end, it is about fulfilling our role in the universe, contributing to everyone around us. We can sum this article up by saying, help the ones in need, but don’t forget your mask and gloves. Take good care of yourself, and be steady. You cannot serve the world from an empty cup.
