Loneliness is generally painted in a negative light. If we think about imposed loneliness, it might actually be accurate to view it as so. However, even when loneliness is imposed, we can still turn it into a precious opportunity. An opportunity that stoics use to draw upon an incredible sense of clarity and power.
Loneliness is an opportunity for growth
Stoics value their quiet time. They express how important it is to be left alone so that one can mute the noises of the world, rather they can focus on their own. Do you even know what you sound like? Are you able to listen to your thoughts? Do you notice how you feel about something, and why you react to it the way you do?
This is a difficult exercise but necessary for our self-development. How much time of your day do you reserve for your own self reflection? Being alone is a useful tool to make philosophy feasible. It allows us to examine our own selves, our flaws and the necessary changes we must undergo to improve our lives.
In letter number 10, “On living to oneself” Seneca tells a tale about Crates:
“He noticed a young man walking by himself and asked him what he was doing all alone”. To which the man answered, “I am communing with myself”, and Crates told the man “Pray be careful, then, and take good heed; you are communing with a bad man!”.
In this letter, just like in many others Seneca discusses the need for seclusion, and withdrawal from the world. He wants to point out that we must take the time to get to know our own self, so we can develop our character. That’s the wonder he sees in loneliness.
Let your mind wander
Domenico di Masi, an Italian writer, wrote a best-seller called Creative Idleness. In it Di Masi talks about how important it is to have free time that allows your mind to wander. In addition to Di Masi, Plato also saw that secluded time is fundamental to self-development.
Today, we live in a society that bombards us with information at high velocity. Why do you think that the rates of mental illness keep rising? Anxiety, depression, all sorts of mental health issues are exponentially increasing.
We’re clearly struggling with our time, and with our modern understanding of happiness. We actually don’t have time to do anything. Rather, we’re always filling it up with a multitude of distractions. Series, books, drugs, alcohol, movies, and social media.We are terrified of loneliness, because we never learned how to deal with it.
Ask yourself when was the last time you actually did nothing, at all?
Stoics viewed loneliness as a need for guaranteeing evolution, we must see it now as a means to keep our sanity.
In letter number 7, “On Crowds” Seneca explains how every time he exposed himself to the world he changed. He was never the same person again.
Seneca is alerting us about how impermeable we really are to the stimulus of the world. We’re easily affected by other people’s behaviors and feelings. What Seneca proposes is something that was also proposed centuries later was by Carl Jung.
Jung encouraged solitude, as it allowed us to build a strong ego. With a strong ego we can go out on the world and keep our values intact.
Ego here must be seen as our conscience, and thus the product of our values and virtues. This allows us to judge what’s right and wrong when we face moral dilemmas.
Summing it up, stoics see loneliness as a blessing in disguise. A time where you can reflect over your flaws, shortcomings and develop your character. A time where you can let your mind wander, guiding you on the road that leads to truth.
